My Mind Is My Residence

Blank stares as I shuffle through each thought

It's not too often when I find myself distraught

But that doesn’t make my residence any less of a surprise

Big brown eyes are seen as a hide 

I grow silent when applications asked where do I reside

Because my mind is my must current address

See I inhabit it daily 

allowing everything, every flaw and every lie to live rent free

Some have told me 

to learn to let things be but

What if it's the only place that’s comfortable to me

I realized a long time ago where I am truly a resident

When other speak I grow hesitant

Trying to ignore details and body language that I read and make relevant

Even when it isn’t 

In my head 

Sometimes I dread 

The things I come up with in there 

As I stare 

into the distance trying to make things make sense 

And I second guess my decisions that even prove themselves worthy 

And I might not care too much of what people think of me 

But I want to be loved like anyone else 

I want to be bold and not stress 

about the things I let 

Inhibit my mental palace 

And though I might not think of people with malice

That doesn’t mean when they think of me they think the same 

And sometimes I blame me for things I couldn’t see 

When people aren’t who they said they’d be 

But the scars will heal 

The days will seal 

The  happiness right along with the pain 

I just hope when my people come along, I can love them the same

Even after all of the hurt 

i hope the pain never transforms who I am